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Sweetening Social Media Spite: A How-to

June 12, 2012

The funny thing about social media is the false superiority and entitlement it can instill in people (ok, that’s not really funny). This brings to mind some psych theories (from the college days) about how low self-esteem is the contributing factor to the inconsiderate, downgrading behaviors of people; especially people who utilize social media as an outlet for their aggressiveness and negativity. These theories would state that ignoring said evil beings is the best way to make them cease their tirades. However, when these people are attacking you like a fan on full blast in a muggy room, it’s a bit trying to just hit the “x” in the upper right hand corner. What kind of damage are these grumblers trying to cause? Between business owners asserting false allegations against competitors, fabricated complaints from anonymous “customers” on social review sites, and more deceitful allegations reported to governmental agencies; the entitlement issues of society are getting completely out of hand. Let it be known: the path to success is not paved with cruelty. Being an ass and finding faults does not translate to laying the “asphalt” of achievement. This principle edges me to share with you my rules for responding to negativity on social media platforms. Step 1. When stumbling across (or being directed to by a “dear” friend) a post on twitter, facebook, social review sites, etc., let out an extremely audible gasp and throw your hand to your mouth. Step 2. Screech “Oh my God! I can’t believe him/her! Who DOES that?” Step 3. Re-read the post and chuckle at how ludicrous the allegations are and how ridiculous the poster sounds. Step 4. Share it with a friend! Laugh and point at the absurdity of people’s hate towards you (all while repeating, “who DOES that?”). Step 5. Take a screen shot and share it with all your social media circles! Twitter, facebook, instagram… the poster obviously wanted to spread the word about how awful you are so you might as well be helpful here! Step 6. Now that the fun has been had, privately report the post (especially any false, damaging allegations that are in violation of policy) to the main site. Step 7. Lastly, don’t respond to the post, for dear god. Don’t get defensive and don’t retaliate. Just sit back, pour yourself a scotch, and continue on with your master plan. They say that once you receive hate mail, you’ve finally arrived. I know that I’m not even kinda sorta near arrival but I have my file of hate mail ready for framing when I get there. Cupcakes = Life Heather Cupcakes

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