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Why I'm Sick And Tired Of You Being Offended

November 08, 2013

Days #35 & 36 of The 90-Day Do Something Big Project <<< Disclaimer: If you get offended ever, DO NOT read this. Stop reading now. Save us both the grief. >>> When I started this blog a couple of years ago I had certain goals in mind—to promote my business, to connect with my customers, and most importantly, to be an example of how one can succeed by remaining authentic, independent, and real. I wanted to show the ups and downs, the highs and lows, the ins and outs of becoming an entrepreneur and living life this way. I aimed to be forthcoming about my feelings, my desires, my trials, and tribulations. I wanted to be that person who publicly tells it like it is because privately, I was all that and then some. But somewhere along the way I got derailed. I tried to strike the precarious balance between being real and being what you wanted me to be. And good lord, it’s been exhausting. Pretending to be someone I’m not and repressing my real thoughts and true feelings has brought me to the edge of explosion. I am not one to hold in. Not one to pretend. Not one to suppress anything let alone my opinions, feelings, and judgments. In doing so, I feel as though I’m being poisoned. As if my body is a bottle and I’m filling it so full of suppressed thoughts that it’s About. To. Burst. I dropped my favorite water bottle on the ground yesterday. This bottle I carried with me everyday, everywhere. To the gym, to the car, to my bedroom, to my purse—it rarely left my side. And yesterday I dropped it. It shattered. I shattered. Being accepted by society today—as a business owner, as an individual, as someone who is trying so very hard to be something, is brutal. The fear of saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing, reflecting the wrong thing, can drive you crazy. It’s driving me crazy. I don’t want to offend you. But I’m sick of biting my tongue. I’m sick of censoring my thoughts. And I’m sick of fearing my own voice. This is not figurative. This suppression is making me physically sick. If you read my twitter feed years ago you would hear the voice of an almost entirely different person than you will hear on my twitter feed now. I was opinionated. I was verbal. I spoke fast and thought slow. I was uninhibited. I was free. These days I write and then I delete. I wonder who I’m going to offend. What backlash is going to occur? Will I lose my customers, my fans, my friends? I feel stifled. I feel polluted. I feel repressed. Every time I read another story about this group of people being offended or that, I cringe. I scream. In the privacy of my own home, of course. Please, tell me WHY you are so offended? Always, everyday, you’re offended. WHY? What happened to ‘sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me’? Why are you offended that one of the Kardashians called herself bipolar in a tweet? Why are you offended by the name of a lipstick that isn’t even a real word? It’s not a word, people. Why are you up in arms? Why are you offended that the Lululemon founder was quoted as saying about Lulu pants, "They don't work for some women's bodies. It's really about the rubbing through the thighs, how much pressure is there over a period of time, how much they use it."? Why are you offended that the children playing on these new postage stamps are not multi-racial? Why are you offended that a blogger wrote a recipe but did not tell you how to adapt it to cater to your gluten-free/vegan/paleo needs? WHY are you offended? When did everyone become so sensitive and so shaming? And why are you interpreting and internalizing every flippant comment that someone makes? What happened to letting words roll off your back? You’re offended by a comment someone makes so you verbally attack him in return. You try to ruin his business, his reputation, and his life. HOW does that make you any better then him? The “I’m offended” game is out of hand. Completely out of hand. People have thoughts, opinions, and judgments. We make them. You make them. I make them. If you don’t like what someone says that’s fine, feel free to say so. But stop taking advantage of the virtual world we now live in by ganging up and bullying the person or business that so offended you. Because that’s what you’re doing. You’re being a bully. And I’m tired of hiding from you. “It's now very common to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that.' As if that gives them certain rights. It's actually nothing more... than a whine. 'I find that offensive.' It has no meaning; it has no purpose; it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what." --Stephen Fry

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