Let Me Whisk Away Your Worries

December 05, 2013

Day #62 of The 90-Day Do Something Big Project Sometimes I receive emails from “fans”. Some are congratulating me, some are scolding me, some are asking innocent questions, and then some exhibit bountiful concern for my well-being and my effect on others. I hate when people worry about me. Truly. People have enough to worry about in their own hectic lives that I should be the least of their concerns. So in between sets of front squats and clean & jerks at the gym yesterday, I decided to forward Jason, my gay bff the latest disconcerting email from a “fan” that arrived in my inbox.

You seem to be marketing using your chest than more than anything else. Every image of you is all breasts. Please consider how to show your assets without punching people in the face with them. Dudes don't buy too many cookbooks. Do you bake without an apron? Are you always clean? Do you actually use a small blue whip that is dwarfed by 1 breast?

All the best,


Jason, being the kind-hearted, compassionate, and concerned friend that he is, was troubled by this latest “fan’s” distress and wanted to set Cory’s mind at ease. Jason, thank you dear friend, for taking the time to craft this response to Cory for me. I’ll see what I can do about my breast-dwarfing issue. Do you know, by chance where I could get some DD or perhaps G sized baking utensils?

Dear Cory,

I have no choice but to thank you for your semi-kind compliments in regards to my upper body area.  I am in great shape and am an avid CrossFitter.  My marketing department has primarily focused on my recipes for The Dollop Book of Frosting however I will check with them to see if they are using my assets to help sell my book as you suggest.

I have not been made aware that my chest has physically struck anyone in the face and I have no pending lawsuits that would suggest otherwise.  I do not have current demographics available on my book sales to give you an indication on the male to female ratio of buyers.

I do wear an apron when making extremely large quantities of product, however for advertising, TV, and marketing purposes I usually do not. This is a common practice amongst most TV network Food hosts. In regards to my hygiene, yes I shower once a day, which is again common for most folk.  Sometimes it's twice depending on my gym routine. Also I have a dishwasher and a sink in my home that allows me to clean my cookware efficiently. I suggest a dishwasher to everyone as the best method to keep your kitchen items tidy for sure.

The small blue "whip" that was used I actually found at the local HomeGoods store and my stylist felt that the colors with my wardrobe selection were very complimentary. I agree that for logistical sake the "whip", or whisk as it’s commonly referred to in the baking industry is much too small for that size bowl.  However, a little known secret is that photo shoots take several hours to complete and the photographers and stylists, to capture the image that the creative director is after, sometimes stage objects in a certain way.

In regards to the positioning of the whisk ("whip") being held in my hand while holding the larger bowl of frosting so that the viewer could see what I was "whipping up"; that is the position the creative team thought was best.

I want to close by taking this opportunity to thank you for your feedback in regards to my chest and how it has impacted your thoughts on my marketing campaign. I assure you that this will be brought up in my next marketing meeting. I may decide to have a doctor present to weigh reduction options if this continues to be a source of negative press and commentary.

To think, I was just trying to sell the idea of sweet goodness and having fun with amazing frosting recipes, while being totally unaware that my body was having an effect on my book sales. Thank you again for your attention to detail in this matter.  I would love to send you a complimentary book for your time and thoughts.  Please advise on your address and I will have a "Saffer Staffer" (my elves!), send one out signed right away, just in time for the holiday baking season!

All the best,

  Thank you again, Jason. You’re a spectacular friend. And I think the “whip” you picked out to match my outfit on my book cover was perfect. Also, for the record, I don't even own an apron.

Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.