I Have Been Rejected A LOT

October 24, 2013

Day #21 of The 90-Day Do Something Big Project I woke up this morning and did the same thing I always do. I hit snooze. First I rationalized hitting snooze by recalling that I didn’t hit snooze yesterday. Hence I earned my snooze today. Myself and myself debated for seconds over this while that annoying tune blared in my ear. Finally myself won, tapping pointedly on that red button. Silence. I then did the second thing I always do. I checked my email. All of the usual morning junk, which I immediately deleted. Why don’t I just unsubscribe, I wondered. Mixed in with the junk was an email from a blogger about my holiday blog tour. “Thanks, but no thanks.” Ok, it read a little nicer than that but in my mind that’s all I saw. This whole #dollopBIG thing has unleashed a bevy of rejection on me. My living room has morphed into a rejection landfill. For each “yes” I receive, I’m pummeled with 20 “no’s”. For every blogger that happily agrees to participate in my Holiday Blog Tour, 20 say no. Or just never respond. Crickets. For each media outlet that offers to do a piece on me, 20 say no. Or just never respond. Crickets. So when I opened that email this morning and was knifed by another no before the sun even rose, I suffered a stroke of momentary panic. Nobody likes me. Nobody wants me. I’m not cool enough. Not popular enough. Not big enough. That dark hole of self-pity and disrespect (you know the one) swallowed me. Whole. And then instantaneously spit me back out. Because NO. Just NO. I am not starting my day like this. I am not giving power over to someone I don’t even know. Who doesn’t even know me. Who has their own very specific reasons for turning me down. It’s just not going to happen. I feel anxiety in relaying to you my rejections for fear that you’ll perceive me in the same way that those who’ve rejected me have. As if through osmosis, you’ll become attuned to rejecting me too. You’ll think, “Nobody else wants to align with her, I shouldn’t want to align with her either.” But that’s not how it works. Rejection isn’t contagious. Rejection isn’t even to be feared. Although a great number of bloggers have said no or cricketed me, some of my top choices, the ones who’s blogs I’ve been ogling for years, have said yes. And that’s what I reminded myself as I rolled out of bed to conquer the rest of my day— Which will undoubtedly be filled with more rejection.   In order to achieve something BIG, you must first achieve a resilience to rejection. #dollopBIG  

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